If I could hand out Snickers bars to every angry Calvinist that I run across online, I would be pretty broke. In a recent post I wrote about the fact that as Christians we don’t always need to jump into an argument and make a defense. A lot of people seemed to dig that idea, so I wanted to expand it one step further.

Calvinists, just stop it. Please? Won’t you?

The amount of nonsense I see flying around from Calvinists is crazy. I know what you’re saying, “We can’t help it, predestination, you know?”. Well, you’re probably not actually saying that but we know it’s what you mean.

Honestly though, Calvinists are the only soteriology that make divisions within their divisions. It’s not enough to be a four point Calvinist. If you say that around a five-pointer, oh boy, look out. They will drop the term heresy on you faster than John Calvin will tattle on a friend.

Too soon?

The problem with Calvinism is that it’s just too cool for the other soteriology camps. They have their “Elect Standard Version” Bibles, the beards, microbrews, and leather bound copies of the Institutes that they read more than the first item on this list.

My primary reason I am picking on Calvinists is because they are the most fun group of people to take jabs at. More to the point, if they yell back at me, what can I say? Not like I had a choice. Am I right?

For real though, I love my Calvinists brothers and I hope they accept this post in jest as it was intended; just stop killing everyone on the internet who isn’t reformed. Wait, is it reformed? Or Calvinist? Augustinian? No, wait, I got it, it’s just biblical. Got it.

Life is far too short though and there are too many unsaved people running about to try and win internet arguments with brothers and sisters in Christ. We weren’t called for that. Which is why I like Dr. Craig’s principle of not debating a fellow Christian; what good does it do? It just causes more division. I really liked the dialogue he had with Paul Helm on Unbelievable. It was a good format and no one became heated.

Let’s try that model if we have to discuss things like that. One of my best friends is a Calvinist and even though I am a Molinist, we are still friends and we both serve the same God. Just keep that in mind the next time you start firing off an angry all-caps response to people who don’t affirm divine determinism. The only reason they don’t, and I’ve look into this, is because it isn’t biblical.

So next time you see a Calvinist and they are getting angry, offer them a hug. If that doesn’t work, tell them you’ve got the pocket watch that Charles Spurgeon used, they’ll go nuts.

As far as the picture, I don’t think Snoopy is a Calvinist. In a possible world he was a fighter pilot that took on the Red Baron. That means Snoopy is a Molinist.

Happy Friday, all!

Grace and Peace

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